I do own AirVideo as well, and I agree it's a great app!.
The difference is that Remoter is a VNC client, and AirVideo is a client/server combination.
Remoter depends on ScreenSharing for the server in the Mac, and other third party solutions for other OSs. I don't control any of these servers, and frankly, it's out of the scope or Remoter as well.
If you come across a solution for VNC to this problem, do let me know, and I'll do my best to add support to it into Remoter. In the mean time, we're stuck with manually making Router configuration changes until the IPv4 pool is so saturated, we finally move to IPv6; and then, this problem should go away.
I'm hoping 2011 is the year the Internet finally starts the transition to IPv6 en-masse.
Raf.